Insignificance

So, as I sit at my computer screen, I think. (And I do a lot of thinking at night... it's pretty much when my mind comes alive and things can sort themselves out)

I think about the past and I think about the future. I think about current friendships and relationships, my family... ya know, all that. And I realize how insignificant my life is. How utterly small I am. How in the big scheme of things, I'm a fleeting vapor (James 4:14). Blink and I'm gone.

I read a poem once called "The Dash". It was about the dash between your birthdate and the date of your death on your gravestone. What is said in your dash? What did you accomplish in your life? I don't think it was a Christian author, so I don't know if he/she mentioned, this... but what did you do for the Lord?

This is my Grandma Stoller. She turned 88 today. Eighty-eight years. She has seen so many things happen in her life. Lost her dad when she was 8 years old and 2005 marked 30 years of being without my grandpa. She's experienced so much heartache, but also so many times of joy. She is an amazing woman of faith and I have so much respect and love for my grandma. She became a Christian at age 13 and they asked her in the baptism waters if she thought she could be faithful to the Lord until she was 80 years old. She's done that and then some. My uncle asked her tonight if she ever thought she'd live to be 88 years old. She said, "I didn't think I'd make it past 80."

My grandma has been a very special part of my life. Countless nights spent at her house listening to stories of the farm or when she moved to Chicago to work. Countless mornings eating pancakes, solving the world's problems. :) I love sitting with her in afternoon church, singing with her and holding her hand. There's something neat about sitting with someone who can't read the words anymore, but can sing all the hymns because she knows them by heart.

Her dash is filled with memories of loved ones, times when she opened her heart and her home to people. I pray that I can be a woman of God like she has been and continues to be. That I can shine Jesus to my family and friends like she has to me.

Well, I think this is enough. I didn't know I was gonna write all this about Grandma, hope I didn't bore you with details of her life. :) Let's try to remember this week to fill our dash with things that matter, things of eternal importance and remember that in a *blink* we're gone.

Lovin' you all!

Things I'll Never Understand

God's love

How dryers "eat" my socks

Lines, slopes, graphs, math stuff

Why your heart loves some people and not others

Calculators

How boys think

How we see color

Why people raised in the same household turn out so different

How a phone works

How the mind can store so much information at one time about so many different things

How leaves change colors in the fall

Why babies make me feel happy inside

How a very tiny computer chip can "know" and do so much

Revelations

Why I can cry at the drop of a hat and some people rarely shed a tear

Why girls can be so cruel

How people can walk through life knowing the truth and ignore God

Why a smile makes me smile

I guess some things aren't meant for us to understand. And maybe, someday things will be revealed and we will get a glimpse of all He has for us to know.

What is something you don't understand?

Oh... not much

So I found some facts. From a website. Don't know if they're true. But... I'm bored. Here they are.

During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants! For me... that's probably true...

In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. Wondering how this one became a law

Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath once a year. Was this a problem?

Most lipstick contains fish scales. Good thing I'm AC and would never consider wearing lipstick.

It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois. All you Urbanians... don't you fret. They will lock that monster up.

Clinophobia is the fear of beds. Definitely not a clinophobic.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, otherwise it will digest itself. Speaking of mucus... I am kinda hungry.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. Honestly... who WANTS to live that long?

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. Aw, poor little guy.

Love you all! Have a good one.

Winter Jam and Other Ramblings

Tonight was the Winter Jam at Redbird Arena in Bloomington. It was incredible.

Krystal Meyers, Hawk Nelson, ZoeGirl, Newsong, Toby Mac, and Newsboys. My vote would have to be for Toby Mac or Newsboys. I'd never seen Toby Mac before, so that was really fun. He's incredible in concert. And Newsboys, as always... excellent.

Tonight was unlike any other concert I've ever been to. It was all about worship. I mean, the whole thing was praise. I looked around at all these fellow Christians and marveled at how there could be so many people in one room who love and want to praise the same God.

It was exactly what I needed. Satan has really been hitting me hard with the same stuff I struggled with last semester about questioning my faith and the true God. But I couldn't even think like that tonight. Not with all those people pouring their hearts out to God in song and honestly believing He heard them and loved each one. I've been asking God this semester to prove Himself to me if He was really there. He shouldn't have to prove Himself to me, but I begged Him to. And He sure did.

The Lord was praised tonight, in a way that I definitely needed to witness. I felt so blessed to be there with other Christians who loved Jesus Christ and who were not ashamed to let everyone know it.

Then me and Trace went to Steak 'n Shake and got shakes and talked. Always good to talk to Traci. Even when we don't understand eachother at all, we do. When we can't see where the other one is coming from, we understand and accept that we're different and will always be. I love you, Trace! You've seen some of the the darkest parts of my heart, and for some reason... you still love me. Thank you.

Then I came back to the apartment and talked to Ash for a long time. We always have amazing talks. She's so grounded and really knows what she believes in a way that just inspires me to really want to believe.

I sit here at my computer in awe. At how blessed I really am. My Christian family, my Christian friends, my church. The opportunity to travel and meet other believers, to attend concerts and hear musicians sing about the love of God. What did I do to deserve any of this? Nothing.

Thank You, Lord. For an amazing night. For once again proving Your faithfulness. All I have to do is ask You to prove Yourself to me, and You do. In ways I never could imagine or hope for. You just do it because You love me and You desire me for Your kingdom. Forgive my questions and doubts. Please keep drawing me back to You.
Take me, Lord. I'm Yours. In Your Name
Amen.