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After some long talks this weekend with my parents, roommates, and cousin... I've come to a conclusion. Everybody places their faith in something. I've decided to place it in Jesus Christ. My family, friends, and fellow church members have all found something in this faith that they haven't found anywhere else. And it's true, when I have been trusting in God and relying on Him, I have had peace beyond description.
It may always be something I struggle with... but I'm going to keep living each day with this faith. Jesus Christ really did save my soul and there is a God out there who loves me and who created all that is around me. When I begin to believe that, everything falls back into place. I once again am able to believe all that is said in the Bible and everything I've been taught. It's not fake anymore or make-believe.
It's terrifying to think everything I've ever been taught has been a lie. So I'm going to push that thought from my mind and live as though it's Truth. All I can do is trust. And have faith. I've been praying for God to reveal Himself to me. And He is. Each day, I'm renewed. He shouldn't have to do that for me to believe. I'm sorry my faith can be conditional at times.
I don't like the feeling of not knowing. It terrifies me beyond words... to think that there isn't a God who loves me and that there is no plan or purpose for my life. Why would I choose to live my life that way?
Point of Grace's "I Choose You" says:
If everybody's worshipping something
I choose You.
Lord, forgive my doubting and strengthen my faith. I come to You with a broken spirit, hoping to be renewed. Reveal Yourself to me and help me remember what I'm living my life for. Give me the strength to know and understand You in the moments when I have no idea what's going on and I can't find a reason that I'm here. If we're going to do this together, please help me out down here and let me know You're really there. I love You and I need You. In Your name,
Amen.
It may always be something I struggle with... but I'm going to keep living each day with this faith. Jesus Christ really did save my soul and there is a God out there who loves me and who created all that is around me. When I begin to believe that, everything falls back into place. I once again am able to believe all that is said in the Bible and everything I've been taught. It's not fake anymore or make-believe.
It's terrifying to think everything I've ever been taught has been a lie. So I'm going to push that thought from my mind and live as though it's Truth. All I can do is trust. And have faith. I've been praying for God to reveal Himself to me. And He is. Each day, I'm renewed. He shouldn't have to do that for me to believe. I'm sorry my faith can be conditional at times.
I don't like the feeling of not knowing. It terrifies me beyond words... to think that there isn't a God who loves me and that there is no plan or purpose for my life. Why would I choose to live my life that way?
Point of Grace's "I Choose You" says:
If everybody's worshipping something
I choose You.
Lord, forgive my doubting and strengthen my faith. I come to You with a broken spirit, hoping to be renewed. Reveal Yourself to me and help me remember what I'm living my life for. Give me the strength to know and understand You in the moments when I have no idea what's going on and I can't find a reason that I'm here. If we're going to do this together, please help me out down here and let me know You're really there. I love You and I need You. In Your name,
Amen.
posted by natz at 3:17 PM
5 Comments:
natz- this post just proves why i love you. you're honest w/ yourself and willing to admit when you're scared and not knowing what to do. *BIG HUG* i love you dear!!
I seriously got chills reading that. You should read my post on Oct. 25. It shows how lucky we are that we can believe that there is no other God.
Thank you for the kind comments about my book. It is my story of salvation and backs up the fact that God is SO very good!
(but it looks like you know that)
;-)
nice to meet ya
As much as I'm not a fan of cliched sayings (especially this one), remember that ol' "What doesn't break us makes us stronger" one? I'm thinking that college is just about the greatest example of this. It's not a place that wants to see us built up in our faith, but if we fall on God's grace to get us through the hard times He's able to use even the attacks of an unbelieving world to make us stronger. Glad to see that's where you are. :)
Thanks for the comments, guys. I appreciate you all very much.
Meg- Big Hug back. Thanks.
Joel- I read your post. Thanks for referring me back.
Steve- Loving the book. You are a definite witness to what Christ can do.
Morgan- Thanks for the words of encouragment.
Ellie- You're blogging! Thanks for the comment. Love you too, tons!
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